Co-Sleeping and the Positive Sides from Real Life Moms
There are so many articles, studies and blog posts on the safety concerns related to co-sleeping and how co-sleeping negatively affects your child’s development, what’s a mom to do? From professional to family and friends chiming in on what to do when it comes to sleep and your child (to sleep train, co-sleep, bed-sharing) it can be overwhelming. To be honest I read some of the research and listened to stories which can scare you; however, as a mom, I went with instinct over science. Co-sleeping felt natural for our family and it fit into our living situation. There was never a safety concern for either myself or husband when co-sleeping with our first born and continued to co-sleep with our second. That was a sight… four bodies in a king size bed, mom and dad hugging the corners while baby and toddler, at the time, enjoyed the spacious center of the bed. We wouldn’t change a thing!
It’s normal to wonder if your kids will become overly clingy, not be independent, or not sleep well because you co-sleep, but try not to worry. I have spoken with some real-life moms, parents, and from my own experience put together a few positives to real life co-sleeping.
Sense of Security
Children feel more secure that a parent is nearby and the parents also have a sense of security that their baby or toddler is close by. I know that I always felt reassured that my babies were next to me and my husband. If there was ever an issue with either of my babies breathing I would be quicker to respond with me next to them. Some studies have shown that sharing a room with baby aides in reducing the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) or accidents by 50%.
Bond Between Parents
Not only does mom get to bond with baby, but dads who also co-sleep also get to create a bond between them and the baby/toddler. I know for us, my husband would sing our son to sleep and it also allowed him to help with night feedings which gave mom a chance to sleep.
Breastfeeding / Formula Feeding
Moms that breastfed said this was easier for nursing during the night, it helped with latching and they found it also increased their milk supply. Breastfeeding is also easier on baby and mom when sharing a bed since mom doesn’t have to move around too much from bed to crib in between feedings. Even though I did not breastfeed, there were nights with our daughter that feedings would happen in bed so that mom and baby could fall asleep faster. On the flip side, I wasn’t able to do this with my son because of his acid reflux.
Fall Asleep Faster
We found that our kids did need us to fall asleep, but that did not create any issues. They were still able to fall asleep on their own when needed. Most of the moms that have shared their experiences all said that their babies were able to fall asleep faster with them in the bed and they did sleep better. I also read that co-sleeping allows parents and babies to be on the same sleep cycles, which also meant that co-sleeping parents are able to get more sleep.
Full of Cuddles & Playtime
Co-sleeping with your babies is a period in your lives that won’t last that long. It’s one of those seasons in motherhood that will soon pass and you’ll miss those tiny arms around our necks and the little toes that dig into your rib cages. What we love about it is no matter how tired you are, when your preschooler who likes to pillow fight and performs death defiant stunts from our head board crawls in bed you cherish those moments. Then there are those moments when I get these cute little whispers from our daughter waking me up or her saying “hi daddy” trying to get dad’s attention in the morning.
Loss of Intimacy
Moms and dads say a loss of intimacy is this is the number one area that they worry the most about when considering co-sleeping. However, intimacy isn’t always about sex. There are other ways you can create intimacy. Many of us get creative and that’s really why Disney movies are around just put one on and head to the next room. My husband and I are lucky that our kids like to spend the weekends with their grandparents so we do get alone time and our bed back for a night. If you have grandparents near you, utilize them, it’s free child care!
Guilt
I did experience some guilt at first but then got over that pretty quickly because I don’t follow the norm. I did what’s best for my family and after speaking to so many other moms who co-sleep and knowing that co-sleeping is done the by the majority of the rest of the world then why feel bad? Co-sleeping is OKAY and even though some of us parents won’t like to admit it, they probably co-sleep too.
From day one we have done what mothers before us have done – trusted our instinct and did what will work. The one thing I have learned from speaking with a lot of moms is that even though co-sleeping has not been an easy journey, at the end of the day their children are happy, healthy, and so are they as parents. From one mom to another, my only advice is to try what works for you and trust yourself because your babies only want you near them.
