Motherhood is truly an experience. Being tired for many is how your life takes a turn, and you don’t know when it will return to normal.
Here’s the thing; this is your new norm, mama. I learned the hard way that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Over the years, I sometimes felt when I would ever get an entire night’s rest. I would wake up and feel tired and groggy all the time. I was tired of being tired. I had no clue what to do and how to fix it. The answer was simple; I just needed to include and have a little “me-time”. Yeah, I know you think it’s overrated with the whole “self-care” and “me-time” thing. You probably think yeah, I tried it, and it didn’t work out for me. That’s it, do not give up on yourself that easily. I struggled with managing it all, and then I thought, why don’t you listen to your advice? If you don’t show up for yourself, then who will?”
I decided that I had to make a change. Many people ask me, “How do you do It All? Half the time, I have no idea how I do it, but I knew that if I did not add a few practices into place, I was headed to burn out. I also had no clue how women-owned businesses survived and would make it to the top. I honestly think it is hard work, perseverance, and pure Grace. I was showing up and making choices for myself that only you could make those decisions. Today I encourage you to choose not to accept those feelings of #momguilt consciously. And permit yourself to take care of yourself.
Today I wanted to share a few ways to say present and what I have added into my daily routine to help keep me healthy and on track towards my dreams and goals! I am sure you heard before “consistency is key,” and we all heard this growing up “practice makes perfect”. I don’t know about perfect when it comes to practicing mindfulness, but I am sure it only gets better daily.
How I Stay Present | Every day is a new day
Honor Exactly Where I am
I am honoring where I am today, honoring and celebrating the current day on how far you have come. Looking back at this year and the growth of my business, traveling, teaching, speaking engagements, working events, teaching Sunday School, and leading a team of amazing women, sometimes I can’t believe it.
Acknowledging My Blessings
I am tapping into another level of Gratitude and practicing and mentally training my mind when I look around and see something that triggers feelings of lack. Stop the thought, thank it and send it back where it came from. Then look around and find something to be grateful for. I say, “I tap into the fountain of abundance” and give thanks to my creator, and well I do my fajr prayer, and I say Alhamdulillah (Arabic: ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ, al-Ḥamdu lillāh) is an Arabic phrase meaning “praise be to God,” sometimes translated as “thank God.”
Focus On What Makes Me Feel Good
Everyone is happy when I feel good and when mommy is happy. I do something that I love before officially starting my day. For example, I enjoyed drinking tea in peace and my candles, lighting my incense, and reading. Those are things that make me feel good. Do something that you enjoy without discretion. Yeah, I know you probably think you are a mom of three kids under ten. How do you find time to make it happen? Keep reading.
Notice how I did not say do a HIT workout, go to the gym, go running, cycling. When you are on this journey of finding what makes you happy and feel good again, it’s not always easy. Sometimes, we need to remember. Our body changes and has gone through so much. People might think I am exaggerating, but childbirth is pretty traumatic. So with that being said, wherever you are on your journey, know that I have to honor your body, and if you can, get up and find a way to move your body. I started by just walking up and down the stairs, and then I am implementing light yoga, and well, my husband wants me to start P90X with him; I told him I’d get back to him on that one. Take one day at a time, and push yourself a little more every day.
Engage With Quality Family Time
This is one of my favorite things to do, and it’s so much fun. We do this, and the kids don’t even realize we are doing it. We put music on the google hub, and they sing and dance, and they each get to pick their favorite song. Then on one Friday for the month when my husband is off, we do family movie night at home. Annie shared a fun family activity that she does where they all have the same crossword puzzle book and then have a family competition on who gets the most words; sometimes, we do teams and help each other out. Find something your family likes to do and be intentional about your time together.
Honor My Body: Take Your Vitamins
Since I always have trouble drinking water throughout the day, I added a checklist to drink the minimum amount of water. The water rule is to take your weight and then divide it by two, and that’s many ounces you are supposed to drink. I honestly don’t know who came up with the rule, but that’s what my doctor told me, so I just ran with it. I am still working on this. I am not sure why it’s so hard for me to drink water. Sometimes working events, traveling, and having two full-time jobs, running Broward Mom Collective and the Roche household, I simply don’t have the energy I would like to. There are times in the month, mainly around my menstrual cycle, that I need an extra boost and supplements, and that’s why drip hydration helps me. It is another way I can get my health goals back on track. I can recognize, retreat and hydrate to feel good again, honoring my body and giving it what it needs.
Don’t beat yourself up. No matter how hard your day gets, you can easily fall off track one day or even a few days. Don’t give up on getting your “me-time” in even though you had a long day at the office and didn’t make it home for family night. Even though you were home all day because the kids were sick and you were not feeling well and had no time to do the things on your list, still give yourself Grace and honor that you are one fantastic mother. Only you are feeling the #momguilt, but when the kids see you, all they see is how much they love you and want to follow you all around the house and be right there with you. That is just pure love.