I was five months pregnant when I said, “I do” to my husband. Four months into our first year of marriage we welcomed our baby girl to the world. For me, marriage and motherhood came hand-in-hand. As I look back at the beginning of our happily ever after I realize that we had to learn so much to learn about ourselves as individuals, husband and wife, and new parents…all at once.
Time and experience have a way of showing you and reminding you that what’s meant to be will be. As my grandmother once told me…there are two things in life that are a surprise- Marriage & Motherhood. I didn’t know what she meant by it at the time but it makes sense now. While we have a vision, goals, and dreams…for ourselves, our marriages, and parenthood…life is unpredictable. We just don’t know what cards we’ll be dealt with which is why I believe it’s essential to navigate through our roles of wife and mom with an open mind and heart.
Forget the fairytales and movies you read or watched. Create your own! Each person and couple’s journey is unique. Each child is too. Don’t compare what you have or don’t to what you scroll through on social media. Your story is beautiful, with ups and downs, and all.
After a decade of marriage, I’ve found that these are some of the key factors that play a big part in our roles as wives and mothers.
Communication
Communicating with your spouse should come easy but that isn’t the case for everybody or every time you want or need to address something. The key is to make a habit of communicating and doing it with honesty. From the small to the big stuff. It’s the only way to be on the same page. Communication allows us to ask and tell and essentially learn and grow together.
Respect
Without this, nothing will ever work. Not as friends. Not as husband and wife. Not as exes who are co-parenting. Keep in mind that the way you converse and/or handle situations- no matter how big or small it maybe- can be passed down to our children. After all, it’s what they hear and see, that they absorb. Set a positive example of how partners and families should speak and treat each other.
Emotional + Physical Support
It’s so important to be supportive of one another. Keep in mind that while you’re learning and growing as husband and wife each of you is still evolving as an individual. Listen to your partner. Talk to your partner. Take care of their heart. Take things off their plate around the house and/or with the kids.
Friendship
Most marriages start off as a friendship but it doesn’t have to fade away after saying, “I do!” Actually, I consider friendship to be the foundation of marriage. It allows you to really know your partner and nurture the relationship.
Intimacy
Intimacy is so much more than- that. It has a lot to do with a real connection on all levels (mentally, emotionally, and physically). There isn’t always time nor energy nonetheless it should be made a priority to work towards maintaining the spark.
Regardless of your marital status, it’s important to know who you are, what you want, and express it to your partner. Marriage and Motherhood are full of surprises, indeed!
