She is sleeping next to me. She is going to be three this month. Time is just flying; it was not long ago when the nurse handed her over to me. She was a tiny thing, and now she is about half of my size or maybe a little less.
Putting her to the bed was a struggle, but I did it. Well, this is the time when my thoughts usually get on fire. Sometimes these thoughts are negative, and sometimes they fill me with positive energies.
Today I recall how she talks non-stop. She loves to keep me engaged and wants to tell each and everything she knows. She trusts me. It’s obvious. But will she continue to trust me even when she’ll get older?
She is a kid, and kids love to talk.
I think most of the kids trust their parents, but most of the adults don’t.
But why? What changes them so much?
A child who trusts her parents for every little thing; doesn’t want to share her feelings with them later in her life. There must be many factors; one of them must be age or the way their brains develop, and the other more prominent factor is the way parents behave and react when they are young.
The way parents behave, react or model things and scenarios may also influence the kid’s brain so much, and if not handled properly, children may lose interest in trusting their parents for the rest of their lives.
Try these tips to gain your children’s trust, which lasts longer!
Role Modeling Honesty
What would be your standard to trust someone? Ask yourself.
Obviously! You would trust someone who is “Honest and Trustworthy.”
Children are always listening and noticing us.
You don’t only have to be honest with your child, but you’ll have to prove to her that her mommy is a fair and righteous person.They should have a righteous and honest image of us in their minds.
A mother is talking to someone on a phone call, and she lies; it could be a small thing like, “No! I can’t join you, I’m not well.”
She won’t notice that the child sitting nearby playing with toys might be listening to her. With time, that child learns to understand the facts, and these smaller versions of lies and dishonesties may significantly impact our image in their minds.
Making Them Feel More Loved
Most of the time, love is directly proportional to trust. (I hope I’m not getting too technical.) The more you will express your love, the more they are likely to trust you. You don’t need to buy them luxury toys or many facilities to show your love, they work, but many minor things can work.
Check out my list of 19 super cute and simple love gestures to express love to your child even when it gets insanely busy!
Talk About Our Feelings
It may not sound good to some parents as they may say that sharing our worries and problems with kids is not appropriate for their little brains. But who is referring to the worries and problems?
“I loved *this* movie especially *that* scene, What do you think?” or “which one is your favorite?”
These questions can grow with the children.
Kids immediately feel more connected with their parents when they initiate a personal conversion and ask them questions, and this connection leads to trust. When they come to you to tell you something, make sure that they know you are listening and paying attention.
And Remember, always keep their secrets.
Stop Correcting Them Always
“I feel bad about how *that* person was talking.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t think like that, try to find something positive in that person.”
Boom! Next time the child hesitates to share her feelings with you.You can acknowledge their feelings at that time and at a later time teach them to think positively in another way.
Acknowledging The Facts & Providing Space
Acknowledge the fact that are not only children, they are different individuals having separate wants and needs. Start respecting their opinions and provide space.
Talk to them, tell them that you respect their personal space and they’re allowed to share anything they want.
Listen to them and pay attention:
What do most parents do when their kids come to talk to them? No eye contact, no attention.
“My doll has broken her legs, mama!”
“It’s okay baby, it’s just a toy. Go play with another doll.” No eye contact?
It’s not that the parent doesn’t love the child. But she might be busy, or it’s just not a big deal for her. So what? Has a toy broken legs? But it matters for that kid. So the child knows that mama is listening to me. So, next time she doesn’t hesitate to talk to the parents.
Keep the secrets:
“Please don’t tell this to anyone.”
Sometimes the secret is beyond this word. The child did something wrong. She had an accident even after being fully potty trained. These things are also secrets your child wants you to keep. Keeping their secrets will encourage them to always share their stuff with you. These little secrets grow as the child grows. You’ll have to keep them if you are looking to gain your child’s trust.
I’m Farwa, a mother of a 3 year old and a loving wife. I’m passionate about learning and practicing new skills and that includes the skill of positive parenting.
You can find me on my blog called “The HomeMaker Mama.”