The topic of self-care is elusive. It’s an abstract concept that means something different
to everyone. Which perhaps is why it can be so easy to implement, even for the busiest
mom or the most hectic of schedules. I’ve been trying to do a girls trip with my friends for years now, but we can’t seem to align schedules and commit to taking the time away from work, family and responsibilities. However, once you throw out your expectation of self-care being a fancy, grandiose or expensive idea and embrace it in its most simple form, you can
create the time and space just for you.
“Consider making a dream list of things you’d like to do if you had the time and opportunity.”
Just the dreaming and planning can put you in a better mindset. Remember that self-care is an opportunity to engage all of your senses in a calming way. Got a favorite scent? Buy a candle and keep it in your favorite room in the house. Light it whenever you are nearby and let it improve your mood. Make sure when you’re in the car alone, or with a kid too young to object, that you’re listening to your favorite tunes at your preferred volume. Unless it’s critical, don’t answer the phone. Except if it’s a friend you’ve been looking forward to speaking with.
Self-care should be woven into your daily routine. For me it comes in a number of forms and something that is important to prioritize so I can be the best I can be for others. One of them is music! Anytime, anywhere I have some time for myself I find the perfect tunes that match my mood and disconnect, no matter how brief the time might be.
Another is my nightly ritual of sitting in my backyard at night right after I put my kids to
sleep. A few short minutes looking up at the night sky and contemplating my day.
Acknowledging at least one thing I am proud of or accomplished and thoughtful
consideration of some of the highlights of my day. It’s the same question I ask my
children before bed, another great habit I am glad I started when they were young.
Even a few minutes of thoughtfulness makes such a difference in my mood and
sometimes helps to alleviate the stress of an otherwise hectic day.
The simple practice of gratitude can be a self-care tool for you and your family. Once a week, usually on Shabbat, I make time to read. My kids and my husband know that time is valuable to me and have gotten in the habit of entertaining themselves in other ways (off screen of course). Even if it’s just an hour, a good read is sometimes the best escape. It also models good reading habits to your children. I also do my best to show up to my
weekly Mah-Jong game with a group of friends in my neighborhood. Win or lose, it’s
nice to spend time with friends. In the rare occasion that I have a few hours to myself, I
head to Sawgrass Mills to window shop. Walking at my own pace and only going into
stores I want? What a hidden blessing! I might only get that time once a year, if that,
but looking forward to that alone time is part of the journey!
Self-care can be a phone call to a friend, whether it’s a daily call to your bestie or a phone a friend when you need someone to talk to. Any activity that you do for you should be considered self-care and needs to be prioritized, even for the busiest of moms. If you neglect yourself you can’t be at your best for those who rely on you. While some might consider scrolling mindlessly on social media to be another form of self-care, beware. It can get you sucked in and doesn’t develop healthy habits for you or your children. Once in a while it’s ok, but don’t get drawn down the wormhole because then your self-care becomes a time waster and can have an adverse impact on your mental health. Same goes for
online games. In moderation it can be an escape but be mindful to not rely on your
screen to be your escape. It’s the little moments and those brief periods of respite that
can help seek you sanity on those insane days where you wonder if you’ll ever get a
moment alone! That said, if you’ve got the time and budget for something big and
fancy, take the time without any guilt. You deserve it mama!
